Why You’re So Tired (It’s Not Just You)
- Kasey Barret
- Jul 17
- 3 min read
Hey, I want to talk to the part of you that’s so tired.
Not just “I didn’t sleep well” tired. The deep kind, the kind that doesn’t go away even when you rest. The kind that makes even simple things feel heavy. The kind that makes every step of every process feel exhausting. The kind that makes every external demand feel like an insurmountable chore.
I see you.
And I want you to know… it’s not because you’re failing.
Here’s what might really be going on:
1. You’re still carrying an old role
When you were younger, you learned how to stay safe to get approval. Maybe it was being perfect. Maybe it was being productive. Maybe it was always taking care of everyone else.
And you’re still carrying that role now, even if it’s wearing you down.
2. You’re ignoring what your body is telling you
You’ve been pushing through the headaches, the tight chest, the constant fatigue. You’ve been trained to override it and just keep going.
But your body hasn’t stopped talking. It’s just getting louder because you’ve been ignoring the subtle signals.
3. You feel like you’re always behind
There’s this constant feeling that you’re racing the clock. Even things that once felt fun, (like socializing) now feel like a chore. It’s like you can’t ever fully exhale. You might notice that your breathe doesn’t fully move past your airway into your lungs and belly.
That’s what happens when your nervous system stays stuck in survival mode for too long.
4. You think you have to “earn” your worth
Resting feels wrong. Slowing down makes you feel guilty. Somewhere along the way, you learned you were only valuable if you were doing, achieving, trying harder.
But there’s no finish line where you suddenly feel like you are “enough.”
5. You’ve quietly outgrown the life you built
This one is hard. The life you created made sense for who you were back then, the one who needed to please and prove.
But now, deep down, you know it doesn’t fit anymore. Knowing that, and not facing it, is exhausting.
Let’s Take One Tiny Pause
Just for now, in this moment, let yourself pause.
Let your shoulders drop away from your ears.
Feel the weight of your body in the chair or the couch, or wherever you find yourself reading this.
Take one breath that’s a little slower than usual.
And remind yourself: I’m allowed to pause. I don’t have to earn this moment.
What This Really Means
You’re not broken. You’re not weak.
You’re in a transition. Psychologist Kazimierz Dąbrowski called it positive disintegration: when the old ways of living stop working so something truer can take their place.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s messy. And yes, it’s exhausting.
But it’s not the end. It’s the beginning of becoming more yourself.
If this feels like you right now, you’re not alone.
I help people in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island (and through online coaching anywhere in the U.S.) find a calmer, more grounded way of living. Together we look at the patterns that keep you stuck in overdrive and help you reconnect with yourself, your body, and your needs in a way that actually feels sustainable.
If you’re ready to stop feeling like you’re running on empty, therapy or coaching might be the support you’ve been needing.
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