When You Feel Like a Fraud (But You’re Not): A Look at Imposter Syndrome

So many of my clients (smart, successful, high-achieving people) come to therapy feeling like they’re about to be “found out.” They’re convinced they’ve fooled everyone into thinking they’re competent. Inside, they feel like they’re just barely keeping it together.

This, friends, is called Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter syndrome is that nagging belief that you’re out of your league. That you don’t know what you’re doing. That you got lucky, slipped through the cracks, or somehow convinced others you’re more capable than you actually are. It’s the fear that at any moment, someone is going to expose you as the fraud you’re afraid you are.

And the wild part? You’re actually extremely capable and qualified.

But it doesn’t feel that way.

Imposter Syndrome Looks Like:

• Doubting your own accomplishments, no matter how real or hard-earned they are

• Worrying someone will “find out” you don’t belong

• Feeling like you need to work harder just to prove you’re worthy of your role

• Tension in your chest, gut, or throat, racing thoughts, trouble sleeping

• Mentally rehearsing conversations and future tasks so you don’t “mess up”

• Struggling to relax, even at home, because you’re stuck in your head about work

• Avoiding new opportunities or freezing under pressure, because the fear of failure feels paralyzing

You’re Not Alone.

Research suggests that up to 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives (Bravata et al., Journal of General Internal Medicine, 2020). It shows up across industries, genders, and experience levels. People at the top of their fields wrestle with these thoughts.

So What Can You Do About It?

Imposter syndrome isn’t a personal failure. It’s a learned mental pattern, and that means it can be unlearned.

Here are a few steps that can help:

1. Recognize that feelings aren’t facts.

Just because you feel like you don’t belong doesn’t mean it’s true. When those thoughts pop up, challenge them. Ask yourself: What’s the actual evidence here?

2. Slow down and tune in.

Your body might be holding more of the story than your mind. Tight chest? Clenched jaw? Racing thoughts? These are cues. Sit with the discomfort and get curious: When did I first start feeling like this? Who or what made me believe I had to earn my worth?

3. Track your wins, especially the small ones.

The imposter voice loves to minimize your success. Create a running list of what’s going right. Read it when the self-doubt creeps in.

4. Interrupt the rumination loop.

Overthinking is an attempt to control the future. Try grounding techniques, breathwork, or literally saying “stop” aloud when you catch yourself spiraling.

5. Normalize asking for support.

You don’t have to carry this alone. Therapy can help you work with these internal patterns, not just fight against them.

If this sounds like you, you’re not broken and you’re not alone.

I’m a licensed therapist who works with over-achievers, perfectionists, and overthinkers to help them slow down, regulate their nervous systems, and access the best, most grounded versions of themselves. I provide in-person therapy in Old Saybrook, Connecticut, and telehealth across Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island. Coaching is available nationwide.

You don’t have to hustle for your worth.

If you’re ready to start feeling better, I’d love to connect.

Schedule Here

Old Saybrook, Connecticut. Nature therapy. Low tide sunset.