Tips From a Therapist: How to Stop Your Thoughts from Running the Show (and Finally Feel at Ease)

Why Your Brain Feels Stuck in Overdrive

Do you ever feel like your mind just won’t stop? Do you feel like you have 7 trains of thought all converging into the same station platform at once?

Do you struggle to feel a sense of ease? Some indicators of this are: even when you’re not working, your thoughts still race. You may be replaying conversations, strategizing your next move, or worrying about what you may have missed. High-achievers and perfectionists can find themselves living in a state of constant mental noise, feeling wired, tense, and unable to truly relax.

It’s not just in your head. It's not easy to control. It's how your brain has been trained. It was adaptive at one point, and now it's not. But the same science that got you here can also help you break free.

The Science of Why Your Thoughts Feel So Loud

When you habitually think about something, you’re literally strengthening it with your energy. In neuroscience, this is summed up by the phrase “neurons that fire together, wire together.”

When you repeatedly direct your attention to the same thought, you reinforce that neural pathway. Imagine a well worn hiking trail in the woods: it's easy to hike because it is clear and unobstructed. Over time, it becomes easier for your brain to go there automatically, even when you don’t want it to. This is why you might feel “stuck” in the same loops of worry, tension, or perfectionism: your brain has been wired for it. Your brain goes there unconsciously, and so you find yourself there without realizing how you got there.

Why It Feels So Hard to Stop Overthinking

High-achievers and perfectionists often pride themselves on focus, determination, and always being “on.” But the flip side is that the same laser focus can lock you into loops of overthinking. Your nervous system stays revved up, your body stays tense, and it becomes harder to access calm, clarity or ease.

Here’s the truth that can change everything:

The more you fuel a thought with your attention, the stronger it becomes. But the moment you redirect your energy, even in small ways, even for a moment in time, you begin to weaken that pattern. This means you can stop being controlled by looping, distracting thoughts and create space for calm, clarity, and ease.

Two Simple Ways to Start Gaining Control Over Your Thoughts

Here are two simple, but powerful practices you can try today:

1. Interrupt the Loop with Your Senses

   
   

   When you catch yourself stuck in a loop, bring your attention to your physical body or your environment. Notice sounds around you, the temperature of the air, the weight of your body in your seat, or the rhythm of your breathing. This gives your brain a new input and helps disrupt the automatic thought loop.

   
   

2. Name It, Don’t Over-identify With It

   
   

   Instead of “I’m anxious,” try “I’m noticing anxious thoughts right now.” You are not anxious. You are experiencing anxious thoughts, or you are experiencing anxious feelings. This simple shift creates space between you and the thought, or you and the feeling: it’s something you’re experiencing, not who you are.

   
   

When You Stop Feeding the Noise, You Find Space for More Ease

By learning how to gently guide your attention, you’re training your brain to release old loops and build new ones. This is where you start to feel more in control of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations. Over time, your nervous system learns a new way of being: one that feels calmer, clearer, and less reactive.

If You’re Ready to Feel Like the Best Version of Yourself

I'm a therapist who helps high-achievers, over-thinkers and perfectionists in Old Saybrook, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island rewire these patterns so they can stop living in their head, stop thinking about work even when they’re not working, and finally feel like the best iteration of themselves: present, calm, and able to actually enjoy life.

If you’re ready to feel more at ease in your body and your mind, I'd love to support you.

I offer in-person therapy and coaching sessions in Old Saybrook, and virtual sessions for clients throughout Connecticut, Massachusetts, and Rhode Island. Coaching sessions are also available nationwide.

Schedule Here

Kasey Barret, LCSW, LICSW // Founder & Therapist Barret Wellness, LLC based in Old Saybrook, CT